We lost Reuben, known stateside as Dan, last Sunday to a heart attack at home in Phuket, Thailand.
"Vootie." [From Harvey Kurtzman and Will Elder, MAD Comics]
That's how we greeted each other since 1975-6, referring to Harvey Kurtzman's MAD. We met sometime in the late 1960s at the All Saints Episcopal Church Nursery and/or Sunday School, and the Coca-Cola machine, a bottle for a dime, where the All Saints Choir meets now. Dan's father, Reuben, a Choir longtimer, died a few years ago; I wrote about him
in this blog here.
Reuben, our man Dan, was super-talented: a mimic, a mime, a voice actor, a standup, a smartass, who, surviving many ups and downs, moodswings, and life changes, grew into a bit of a sage, and a certified sommelier. I can hear his voice alive in my mind. From a routine in Junior High about family reunions ("I haven't seen you since you were this tall [
PUNCH to stomach] and now you're
THIS big! [
SLAP under chin.])" to the wisdom he absorbed from various esoteric sources ("One is
taught in
accordance with one's
fitness to
learn.") He transitioned from success as a voice artist to writing for print news in Thailand for the last year or so, happiness hard-earned.
In the 1970s, Dan's mom Penny was Executive Secretary to the 2nd Headmaster of The Westminster Schools, Dr. A. Emerson Johnson. His sister sang in the Ensemble and worked in the school Bookstore. Dan, often hyperactive, repeated the Seventh Grade and joined my cohort at Westminster Junior High in September, 1975. With the other T-Z last names in the alphabet, we shared homeroom follies with teacher Billy Ray Schmidt in the 7th and Joanne Tysinger in the 8th. We also shared the comics, cinema, tv, and music of 1975-7: Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko; kung fu and martial arts; Durwood's speech class and George Carlin inaugurating SNL; skateboarding; Kiss, Alice Cooper, and Jethro Tull; mime at and observation of the customers of Cumberland Mall; and the game of Chickensh*t! (You say that word, in class, progressively louder, and the one who gets caught loses. That worked better in P.E., than, say, Coach Todd's American History class.) He transferred, first to public school, meeting lifelong brother Jeff Lankford, then to Berry Academy, where, upon his graduation, the admins put Ms. Martha Berry's school for Appalachian youth to pasture in favor of corporate rentals on the Berry College campus.
In the 1980s, he started at LaGrange College, playing either Mercutio or Tybalt (I forget) in a production of Romeo and Juliet, where he worked with Alton Brown. Like me [and, kinda, Brown!] he transferred to UGA. We shared a weekly lunch at The Grill in downtown Athens, 1984-9, chewing the fat in more ways than one. He majored in communication, and moved from Georgia to Hong Kong as soon as he could, where he met his life partner, Normandy Madden.
Dan was so funny, fun, and perceptive: still, he had great highs and lows. He went from being choosy with sodas like Tahitian Treat to becoming a certified sommelier. As Reuben, he treasured the last few decades, and he really looked forward to retiring with Normandy to Portugal. My prayer for my pagan friend is to continue sharing stories, memories, and reflections. I am confident he is at peace, beyond pain, though he wanted more time. God bless his loved ones. And bless all souls who miss him.
Normandy has had to make memorial arrangements and her messages, like this one, shared with Penny, are full of grace.
Quoting: "
As his wife and mother, respectively, we are deeply sorry to inform his friends and family that our darling beloved Reuben McDaniel Tuck III passed away around midnight on Sunday, August 30, 2020 -- a truly terrible year. He died peacefully at home in Phuket, Thailand. He was 58, which is far too young. We are devastated, shocked and incredibly sad. He was a wonderful husband and son and will be greatly missed.
He will be cremated on Tuesday, September 8th, at a Buddhist temple in Phuket and later on, when world travel allows it, his remains will be spread on Pawleys Island in South Carolina, a favorite childhood spot, as was his wish. We will organize a Zoom memorial service to take place next week, the details for that will be shared in a few days, if you want to take part. This Facebook page [of Reuben's] will be memorialized and remain active.
Reuben was generous, humble, warm, intelligent, kind, creative, always entertaining, a true bon vivant, a fun companion and a crazy character. He will be mourned for a long time. Let’s remember his spirit forever. His life was cut too short, but it was a good life, and he died happy and loved.
-Normandy Madden & Penny Irby Lyle
"
